click for full view

This piece is a confession of my artistic transactions with the world and a vow of offering to my self.

It was conceived with the objective of selling it to an old boss of mine. I was convinced that I would sell it to them so I worked on it very diligently. Time passed and I realised they weren't buying it. I was disappointed in myself and in them. I was disappointed in myself because I was blind to the freedom I experience while creating, blind to the enjoyment I feel each time I pick up the canvas, blind to myself. I was disappointed in them because they didn't buy the painting. How silly and selfish of me.

The painting became an unexpected catalyst for deeper self-inquiry and realising that the true value of my practice lies in its capacity for catharsis and liberation. It showed me that we are worlds existing in worlds and we have worlds existing in us. Therefore, I must try to not take things personally.

About a year later, I heard they were dealing with a terminal illness. I was extremely disappointed in myself. I do hope they are resting in peace now.

I wish I could go back in time. I wish I was an artist for me. I'm learning to be an artist for me.